Reviving a pen

 

Although pens are cheap and plentiful often I find myself having to use one that is uncooperative. I must coax it into helping me out. Here is the procedure to making a stubborn pen work.

1. Shake it hard holding it at the butt end. Is butt end the proper technical term for that part? Be careful some pens will leak ink. This also works well with felt tip markers on their last legs. Never shake an uncapped marker though.
2. Lick the tip. Your spit will lube and soften the ink gel. Note: I won't do this with a public pen as I don't know who else has used it. Also note: Ink is probably not good for you. Though some blue ink is being used as an anti radiation medicine. It also works in removing heavy metals from the body. Prussian Blue is usually taken orally in 500mg doses.
3. Give it mouth to mouth with another pen. Just try to put a bit of ink on the tip. This will work a little better than the spit method of #2.
4. Cook it in a flame for a second. Then quickly try to write a bit with it. This only works if you have access to a lighter or fire. Unfortunately many of us now live prehistoric lives and will worship those priests with the ability to use a Zippo lighter after December 2012.
5. Curse it for not bearing fruit. Break it in half as punishment and put it in the bin.